


The Potion

by KittieHill



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Loss of Virginity, M/M, Menstrual Sex, Menstruation Kink, Oral Sex, Vince becomes a lady
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:27:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieHill/pseuds/KittieHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have no idea why i decided to write this. An idea got into my head and wouldnt leave until i wrote it... so im sorry</p><p>Vince drinks a potion and becomes a lady, he then seduces Howard and has him take his new virginity. Icky menstruation undertone (occasional references) but thought id give a warning anyways. </p><p>Erm... explicit because its just filth really. Not Beta'd</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Potion

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why i decided to write this. An idea got into my head and wouldnt leave until i wrote it... so im sorry
> 
> Vince drinks a potion and becomes a lady, he then seduces Howard and has him take his new virginity. Icky menstruation undertone (occasional references) but thought id give a warning anyways. 
> 
> Erm... explicit because its just filth really. Not Beta'd

Vince danced naked around his bedroom, The Human League were musical geniuses, the electro sounds made him feel light headed and happy, like he was dancing on clouds. Howard could never understand the brilliance, he was too much of a jazz freak, Vince wondered where Howard was, the shop should have closed hours ago but Howard still wasn’t home. He was probably out with Lester.

Vince continued dancing, stopping dead in his tracks when he looked in the mirror…it couldn’t be… could it?!

A grey hair, in his… in his pubic hair! This was the worst thing to ever ever happen to anybody in the entire world. Vince was stunned, he hadn’t expected this. He ran naked into Naboos room, Naboo was a shaman genius, and he would have something to stop this happening! He crouched over the glass bottles reading the labels as best he could, where would somebody find Zombie sperm and how would you collect it?! He looked over at one which looked right, picking up the bottle he took it back to his bedroom.

He took a swig, it tasted funny, like copper and he swallowed it, sticking his tongue out at the nasty taste. He lay on his bed and climbed under the covers, he was never going to move again until his pubic hair was black.

Hours later Vince blinked in the darkness, his stomach felt strange, like a weight was pushing him. He switched on the light and screamed

Blood. Lots of blood. Covering his bedding, he panicked as he rubbed the blood away from his legs and screamed a second time

Where the fuck was his cock?! Instead of his usual long shaft, he had a slit instead

Howard and Naboo ran into the room, they stared at Vince in shock

‘Have you been going through my stuff?’ Naboo asked

‘I found a grey hair, I found a potion that said mens station’ He shouted

‘you pleb! It said Menstruation!’ Naboo sighed ‘You’re having a period’

* * *

  
Naboo had spoken to Dennis and the board of Shaman about the potion which Vince had taken, they explained that it should last a week and then be finished with no long term issues, except Vince might have a more profound understanding of why he shouldn’t drink from strange bottles

Howard had been very supportive, He had bought Vince chocolate and magazines, he had popped to the chemist and bought a supply of hygiene products because he wasn’t sure which Vince would prefer and they had spent hours talking in their shared bed, watching cartoons. Howard could tell Vince was in pain, he winced occasionally and Howard had noticed him waddling to the bathroom, but by the third day, he seemed much more chipper and almost back to his old self although it did seem as though he was being quiet… too quiet

‘oward’ Vince started

‘yeh’ Howard replied, not even tearing his eyes away from the bright colours on screen

‘would you touch me?’ Vince asked, biting his lip nervously

Howard was surprised, but he had to admit, he had thought about it constantly since he had discovered Vince’s change

‘I don’t… I mean.. I’ve never’ Howard stammered

‘exactly, so who better to teach you than me! You know I won’t laugh at you! It’ll be genius ‘oward!’ Vince smiled excitedly ‘plus, I’ve not explored down there yet’

Howard nodded timidly

* * *

  
Vince had showered and cleaned himself up, he was still bleeding but it wasn’t as heavy as it had been. He had never thought about what women had to go through but he had much more sympathy for them, plus, he had never felt so horny. He had found his clit very early on and rubbed it but he couldn’t finish, he needed SOMETHING else.

Howard was fiddling nervously with his shirt, his breathing was ragged and he felt like he needed to give himself a Chinese burn for being so stupid and agreeing to this. Vince had smiled reassuringly before leaving to use the bathroom. He removed his tampon and walked back to the bedroom, putting an old towel on the bed and lying on top,

‘okay, just go for it, have a feel around if y’like’ Vince smiled

Howard wiped his forehead, he was sweating nervously. His fingers trailing down Vinces flat stomach, feeling the wispy hairs tickling the palm of his hands. He split Vinces folds, feeling a slight wetness already and noticing red on the tips of his fingers

He took his index finger and pushed it inside Vince, wiggling it around in no particular direction

‘is that how you finger a pussy?’ Vince giggled, raising his eyebrow at Howards fumbling attempt at getting him off

‘whats wrong with what im doing?’ His usual offended tone seeping through his voice ‘I told you I’ve never done it before’

‘Your finger is like a drunk stage actor trying to open the curtains’ the king of the mods told him in his jovial voice.

Howard just stared blankly at him ‘You said you wouldn’t laugh’ he frowned

‘Sorry ‘oward, here, I’ll show you’ Vince apologised, taking his best friends hand he began rubbing over his clit with Howards digits

‘little bit more pressure… ahhh that’s it, right there’ Vince smiled ‘that’s good’

Howard confidence grew slightly, he no longer needed Vince to control his movements, he pressed a bit harder, hearing Vinces breath hitch

‘You learn quickly’ Vince smiled

‘yessir, man of action’ Howard chuckled

‘Ok, put your finger inside me and turn it so you’re making a come here motion’ Vince explained

Howard did as he was instructed, feeling Vince tense under his fingers, he seemed to have found the right spot. He felt a strange barrier on the inside of Vince’s vagina but thought no more of it once he found the ridge. He circled the spot, touching it harder before swapping to gentle movements. His thumb rubbed over Vinces little nub, hearing Vince moan was like music to Howards ears, better than any Scat singing

‘keep going ‘Oward, please, oh god’ he moaned and mumbled

Howards cock was achingly hard, he tried to rub it against the mattress to feel some friction, he needed to get himself off but he didn’t want to stop giving Vince pleasure, especially not when he was so close to climax

Howard looked up at Vince, his eyes were tight closed, his lips pursed together and a pink blush had crept over his cheeks and down his neck. Howard had never seen him looking so beautiful or erotic

Vince threw his head back, his face contorting into an almost painful ‘O’ as his body tensed around Howards long musicians fingers,

Howard smiled as he watching his friend peak, he wanted to pull out his cock and thrust it deeply into him, feeling his wetness and his blood mix around his shaft. He wanted to cum inside Vince and watch it trickle back out of him but he stayed still, ensuring his fingers continued stroking the parts which Vince had shown him.

‘Howard please, stop, stop, I cant take anymore’ Vince stammered, pushing Howards hands away

Howard removed his hands away from Vince’s new vagina, he noticed the blood staining his fingers but it really didn’t bother him, this was a part of Vince and he wanted to wear it like a badge of honour.

Vince looked up at Howard through half lidded eyes, he now understood why women enjoyed sex so much and he was disappointed that he would have to go back to male orgasms which didn’t even compare.

‘take off your clothes’ he whispered to Howard

Howards eyes widened, he nodded gently and stood, stripping down to his boxer shorts, his hands self consciously covering his body.

‘Don’t do that ‘Oward, you’re lovely’ he smiled

Howard returned the smile before climbing back onto the bed, leaving his boxers puddled on the floor

Vince ran his fingers down Howards chest and stomach, he curled his fingers around Howards shaft, he was surprised at the length and thickness of it, he hadn’t expected to find a pornstar sized cock hiding in Howards creepy corduroy slacks.

He pushed down on Howards chest, making him lay back on the bed before Vince began travelling down, peppering small kisses from his nipples down his stomach until he finally reached Howards cock. His tongue reached out and licked the tip, feeling the earthy and salty taste of his oldest friend, the taste was addicting and he wanted to stay here, lapping at Howards cock forever.

Howards eyes widened, he had never felt pleasure like this, the only sexual experience he had was self-pleasure, wanking himself to a climax when Vince was asleep or when he was locked safely in the bathroom. The feeling of Vinces wet tongue slipping over his tip was amazing, he could feel his precum leaking from his slit, he needed more

‘please Vince, please’ he mumbled, his fists gripping the bed sheets

Vince began sucking on Howards tip, moving his head back and forth trying to find a comfortable position for his jaw. It had been a long time since he had been with a man and he was out of practice, his tongue licked along the bottom of Howards cock as he tried to take more of his friend’s massive cock

Howard thought he had gone to heaven, he had never felt so good, not even listening to weather report in a new cardigan had ever come this close.

Vince was angry with himself, he could tell that he wasn’t being as good as he had been before, but Howard wouldn’t know that. He breathed through his nose, attempting to take more into his throat, he felt the tip hit his throat and he gagged, pulling away quickly

Howard moaned, he was so close to orgasm, he couldn’t hold back his moans, he wasn’t embarrassed by them any longer and he arched his back until he felt Vince gag and move away

‘Im sorry, im so so sorry Vince’ he gasped, panicked

‘its alright Howard, just not used to someone your size’ he smiled reassuringly

Howard blushed, he was aware that he was well endowed, not that it helped him with women

‘Could I fuck you Howard?’ Vince blushed, He wanted to feel Howard inside him, he wanted to feel Howard cum shoot inside.

Howard bit his bottom lip again and nodded

Vince sprung cat like over Howard, straddling his hips. He rubbed his slit along Howards shaft, spreading his wetness and blood as lubrication before slowly lowering himself down onto Howards shaft. He closed his eyes at the sensation of being filled, a moan snatched from his throat as he felt Howard bump against the barrier of skin inside him

Vince whimpered and Howard reached up to touch his face, stroking along his cheek before pulling Vince down for a kiss. Their tongues dancing with one another, Howards inexperienced lips tried to follow Vince’s lead until they both finally met in a slow rhythm. Vince pulled away, putting his head against Howards neck before whispering

‘Please, take my virginity Howard’

Howards heart beat harder and faster, he had never wanted anything so much as he wanted this, he grabbed Vince around the waist and flipped them so he was on top  
‘are you sure?’ he asked, making eye contact with Vince

Vince nodded, biting his bottom lip as Howard stroked his hair, holding his cock still inside Vince

Howard began thrusting his hips, inexperienced but willing to learn. He felt the barrier and reached down to kiss Vince as he broke through

Vince gasped, he had not expected such pain although it only lasted for a moment, Howard held still until Vince nodded and began moving his hips once more. Vince had never felt so full, he felt completely stretched open.

Howard had never known such heat or tightness around him. He groaned low in his throat and let his head fall onto Vinces chest, his hips moving in a steady rhythm, feeling his climax building quickly. He kissed Vince again before lifting Vinces feet and placing them on his shoulders, thrusting hard and faster, his finger finding Vinces clit to circle it as he thrust

Vince closed his eyes, groaning and moaning, he pinched his nipples and bit his lip until he tasted blood

‘fuck Howard, please, im gunna cum’ he screamed

Howard felt his orgasm approach; he thrust harder, moaning and sweating. He couldn’t hold on any longer, he needed to cum

‘Oh my Vince’ he shuddered as his orgasm began, his seed shooting inside Vinces vagina, mixing with his blood and arousal

Vince tensed around his cock as his own climax peaked, he moaned loudly and his head fell back onto the pillow. Howard fell forward lying on top of Vinces sweaty torso, his moustache tickling Vinces skin, the younger man kissed the top of Howards head

‘as good as that was, I need to pee’ Vince whispered, upset he had to move, but aware of the pressure building in his bladder made worse by Howard lying on top.

Howard rolled to his side, moving the blood stained towel from beneath him before wiping his mixture of seed and blood from himself and putting his head against the pillow. He was asleep before Vince returned

‘Bloody charmin’ Vince laughed, he had attempted to insert a tampon but he was too sore from the breaking of his hymen, instead he pushed a pad into his pants and put on a pair of colourful lounge pants and climbed back into bed, snuggling into Howards chest and whispering

‘Love you Howard’ before blushing and falling asleep.


End file.
